


Skin - Coda

by Jinx (jinx37kat)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-30
Updated: 2005-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-16 12:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9271199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinx37kat/pseuds/Jinx





	

Sam woke up tied to something down in the sewers and knew he was in deep shit. 

Once he met back up with ‘Dean’ after searching the streets for the shapeshifter, he knew the man standing at the opened trunk couldn’t have been his brother. It may have been acting like Dean, but there was just that little something off that alerted Sam that his brother was **not** the man standing before him.

He should have shot the bastard when he had the chance.

Because now… now Sam was trapped in the sewers with a _thing_ wearing his brother’s face. And Dean was no where to be seen.

“Where is he? Where’s Dean?” Sam demanded.

“I wouldn’t worry about him. I’d worry about you,” _It_ said with Dean’s voice.

“Where is he?”

“You don’t really want to know.” And in that instant, Sam feared the worst. Feared that Dean was already dead. He didn’t know if this thing needed to keep the original person alive to take their form or not. But before he could go into a full on panic attack, _It_ continued, “I swear. The more I learn about you and your family…” _It_ snorted. “I thought **I ******came from a bad background.”

“What do you mean ‘learn’?” Sam asked confused. Did this thing beat Dean for information? No, it said it was learning. What…?

And Sam watched as _It_ raised its hand to its head almost as though it were in pain. He refused to think of It as any more than that… _It_. _It_ was not his brother. _It_ would never be his brother. No matter what It learned or what form _It_ took. Dean was Dean. And it was _Dean_ whom Sam was brothers with, not this… _thing_.

Sam shook his head and looked across the room.

“He’s sure got issues with you,” _It_ taunted. “You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, **I** had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own. But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?”

Sam couldn’t let this thing get inside his head. It didn’t matter that _It_ was learning Dean’s deepest, darkest secrets while stealing his brother’s form. It didn’t matter that It probably spoke the truth when _It_ said that Dean had issues with him. All Sam cared about was, “Where? Is my brother?”

_It_ leaned down and got into Sam’s face. “ **I’m** your brother.” _No! You’re not!_ Sam shouting in his mind, but remained silent. “See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You’ve got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to and he ditched me, too. No explanation. No nothing. Just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But still. This life. It’s not without its perks. I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had a chance. Let’s see what happens.”

Sam had no time to react before a tarp was flung over his head and he was left in complete darkness.

He heard _It_ saunter off and Sam dropped his head to his chin, pondering what he’d just heard. 

Did Dean really feel that way? Jealous? A freak? Alone? Sam was convinced that the first two probably didn’t apply. And if they did, they were so small on the radar that they probably didn’t even register. 

Dean never was the wanting-to-go-to-college type. He loved what he did. Hunting things. Killing the evil sons a bitches. The ‘family business’. And, Sam supposed, that **did** kind of make him a freak. And Dean was probably okay with that, too.

But the alone part… That actually made Sam pause and stop to think. And where his thoughts took him… he’d rather not go. Because now that he honestly thought about it, the ‘shifter was right. At least about one thing:

Sooner or later, everyone **did** leave Dean.

Mom left them all when Dean was only four. All Dean had left after that was Sam and Dad. And Sam left eighteen years later. 

Well, if truth were to be told, Sam left long before that. Mentally at least. Sam began pulling away from their dad as early as eight or nine. By thirteen, the once tight knit brothers were practically strangers. And no matter what Dean did to try to bridge the gap, Sam tore the bridge down at every opportunity.

Sam sighed heavily under his cover as he thought about all Dean had done for him as they grew up. And how he, himself, had never once stopped to appreciate his brother, but instead repaid Dean with stubborn petulance and his need for a ‘normal life’. Not once realizing that Dean may have wanted normal, too.

He could feel tears escape the corners of his eyes as he thought about all the times Dean had been there for him growing up. 

Dean had been the consummate big brother. Teaching him things that a big brother was supposed to. But he also took on the roll of mother and father, too. Hell! Dean was more of a father than their own dad was.

Who taught Sam how to ride a bike? Who taught Sam how to tie his shoes? Who snuggled up with him under the covers on those nights when their dad had gone out hunting and read him bedtime stories about castles and fairy princesses and white knights? 

Who checked the closet for monsters? Who bandaged and kissed his knee better when he fell? Who stuck up for him against the bullies at school? In each and ever instance, it was Dean. And not once did Dean ask for anything in return other than the right to be Sam’s big brother… Sam’s protector. 

And Sam settles up the score by ditching him... just like their dad did only recently.

That thing with Dean’s face may be a killer, but Sam believed everything that _It_ told him. At least the stuff _It_ told him about Dean’s feelings. What was said was more truth than Dean would ever admit to. ‘Cause if there was one thing about Sam’s big brother that he did know… it was that he didn’t do chick-flick moments. Which all probably stemmed from not having a mom around and living with a father with a hunt/kill mentality.

But that was neither here nor there. Because now… now Dean could be dead for all Sam knew. Dead without ever having known how much Sam loved, loves and appreciates him. 

_Present tense_ , damn it!

Sam tilted his head back and rested it on the beam behind him, closing his eyes.

If he ever got out of here and if he ever found Dean, he vowed that things would change between him and Dean. He would make sure of it.

Finis 11/30/05


End file.
